“Creep” - TLC

I’m starting to feel a bit crazy with stress and deadlines. This will be the first time that I’m seriously working under pressure of what feels like impending DOOM. We’ll see exactly how well I function, or if I’ll break down. I really, really hope I persevere like I always have, but as I don’t think anything before has stressed me out THIS much before, I can only cross my fingers and pray pray pray. On the positive side of things, tomorrow, or today, is Friday, which means after a stressful day at work, I will be able to go out to dinner with some friends and chill! I’m not particularly happy about having time to myself for thinking about shitty things, but, I’ll have to make do now, won’t I?

By the way, in just merely four days, it will have been half a year since I first got to Shanghai. Wow. Time really flies. Considering I started work the very next morning I arrived, it will also be my half year mark of working at this marvelous company. Guh, I reeeeeeally love my job and everybody at the company, it’s been such a ride!!

I still am puzzled by the sheer ratio of, well, something I’ve been pondering for a while now. I cry a little inside when I think about how isolated I am. And to paraphrase someone today, our “team” is kinda weird because there’s only two of us. ::scratches head:: The definition of a team is a group, when it comes to people anyway, right? A group cannot be only two? Unless we’re talking about animals, draft FARM animals. Yay, I’m a rat turned ox. o_O

Anyway, off to die tomorrow from stress. I’m wondering if I can go in during weekends to work, I’m terrified I won’t finish on time or satisfactory enough. I love what I’m doing, but when it’s being weighed and criticized, I start freaking out. A lot. ::screw eyes:: Pray for me, please? I need it.

Nice song to close off on, “Komm, Susser Tod” … >_>;;; It’s a sign, isn’t it? Shirogane and Tomomori are trying to tell me I’m going to die.