“Fuu~Inochi to Hokori” - Ishikawa Hideo, Seki Toshihiko

I need to calm down. Majorly. I’m so frustrated that it’s eating away at my stomach. ::rubs eyes:: I’m trying so hard.. I want to keep living, to keep trying, just.. to stay alive, why is that so much to ask? Why is that I’m always being called ungrateful, disappointing, and a disobedient child when all I’m trying to do is make a living for myself? She’s so unwilling to let me move out that she demanded over $2000 from me. So what else could I do? I had to dig into my savings that I’ve been accumulating since second grade (yes I’m dead serious about this) to cough up the cash. Because I have no checks to write to her. None. So there. She wants to ruin my life so badly under the guise of caring about me. Really, is that what someone does when they care about you? I’m not the least bit amused. I have a roof over my head, a fan blowing at me, water to shower with, and water to drink right? Yeah, I do. I’m not eating out of my house anymore. Last thing I need is for her to start charging me for every meal.

Anyway, with that said, job job job. Need to look for more jobs. Nevermind that I’m doing a full-time already, I can do more. I have so many church chores to do that it’s insane, so if it comes down to it, I’ll stop going for a while. I need to live, you know? ::sighs:: I’m so tired. I’m tired of being angry, of watching my budget like a hawk when I’m living at home and supposedly saving money. Saving money, hah, what a joke.

I’ll finish replying emails and blowdry my hair. We’ll see if I’m successful at sleeping tonight.