Dementia

Series: Final Fantasy VIII (8)
Pairing: Squall Leonhart x Zell Dincht

Theme: 30 Kisses #2 - News; Letter
Status: one-shot, finished

Rating: PG-13
Warnings: there's stuff that happens, but nothing too explicitly said

Notes: The boys are closet gays, and in particular, the one named Squall Leonhart. This drabble is in first person, in Zell's point of view.

Yesterday, he was in my bed, warm and snuggled up to my chest. Today, he is back to his brooding self, sitting in his office and acting like he never knew how to open up. I've been putting up with his behaviour for a while now, but it's starting to get on my nerves. In front of everybody, we're just friends who back each other up in battle, heal when necessary, and work together to complete a mission. Nobody knows the real nature of our relationship, or rather, the animal Squall really is hidden under that cool, composed attitude of his. The way he strips off his clothing slowly in front of me every night when we're alone and languidly crawls up to me with the creepiest smile known to mankind, even if I had thrown the idea out as a joke, nobody would pay attention to me. But it's true, the way he hisses, "Zell..." into my ear as if my name has dirty connotations. The way he treats me out in daylight is really beginning to agitate me, almost as if I don't matter to him at all. I ask him about it every night, if he would stop acting like that and just tell our friends that we're lovers and more, or at least let me tell them if he doesn't want to tell them himself, but he always dodges the subject by going down on me, as if I could think about anything coherent as soon as he does that anyway.


So every morning, I wake up to an empty bed by myself, with only traces of his body lying next to mine an hour before I wake, and his lingering scent clinging to my sheets and my memory. Sometimes, I pick up the brown hairs he shed and pull at the strands, remembering how I'd run my hands through his hair and pull his head to my chest right as he comes. But once I'm dressed and outside my room, our kisses are locked behind my door, and it's normal SeeD business all over again: Squall is our new headmaster, and I, one of his SeeDs flocking at his command. Hah, what a joke! What kind of messed up relationship is this?


"This is your headmaster, Squall Leonhart, speaking. I have an important announcement to make, so please give me a minute of your time," boomed his voice on the loudspeakers throughout Balamb Garden.


When it comes to the intercom system, Squall always made good use of it. From announcing where we would be landing to weather reports, his tone commanded every resident's attention when he spoke.


"I have put this off for a very long time, and I apologize for not saying this sooner, but... Zell Dincht....."


Suddenly, I could feel everybody's eyes in the cafeteria drilling holes into my head. It isn't like Squall to pause so long during his messages over the intercom.


"... Come to my office."


"Aw shucks!" The mic seemed to be knocked away by none other than Selphie, who grabbed the mic so loudly that feedback roared throughout the sound system. A loud thump bounced off the reverberant walls when it sounded like someone else took the mic away from her.


"Sorry everybody, Squall doesn't know how to say it so I'll say it for him," said Rinoa's spirited voice over the loudspeakers once the noise died away, although struggling noises were still heard in the background.. "Squall, Balamb's headmaster," she cleared her throat audibly over the intercom, "Wants to tell everybody that he loves Zell Dincht! That's right, our headmaster is in love!"



And that's right about when I fainted.

I'm happy to announce that my entire site is moving back to Anagura.Net! Please update your links to Dementia to www.anagura.net/dementia - thank you! For those of you who don't know, Anagura is my old domain that got held hostage for a few years by the hosting company when I discontinued service with them a few years ago. Fortunately, the domain has finally been released, and I was able to reclaim it, so here it is!

As for any literary updates, I don't have any yet... but here is the picture I submitted for a 30 kisses entry, theme #26 "If only I could make you mine," featuring the couple Squall Leonhart and Zell Dincht. ^_^

Series: Final Fantasy VIII (8)
Pairing: Zell Dincht & Squall Leonhart

Theme: 30 Kisses #22 - Cradle
Status: one-shot, finished

Rating: PG-15 (???)
Warnings: suggestions and hints to foreplay

Notes: Random scene, random drabble. I think the ending sucks so I apologize ahead of time. R&R please?

"What would happen if we ever had a child, eh?"


A vein twitched in Squall's forehead at the question, which he regrettably heard loud and clear despite pretending that he was still asleep.


"A-hah! Saw that, but seriously, what do you think would happen to us?"


Sometimes he wished his babbling boyfriend wouldn't talk as much as he did, especially on nights after they had wine, and not to mention that it was very good burgandy.


Zell knew better than to tousle his scarred beauty when he was trying to sleep, but sometimes he couldn't resist the temptation when he was buzzed. Poking at Squall's bare shoulders stick out from under their shared comforter, he grinned mischieviously when Squall opened an eyelid to glare at him.


"We're men, get over it. If you want a child, you can ask Irvine if we can adopt Selphie."


"Hey!!!" Zell wailed, but Squall rolled over onto his side so that he was facing the other direction. The blonde propped himself up, his elbow on his pillow, and snuggled into Squall's back so that his chin was snug against his lover's neck.


Arms encircled his chest, and fingers slowly made their way lower until the sleepy brunette started to writhe under the cushy comforter. Pleased with himself (and the alcohol they consumed earlier), Zell turned his head slightly to nibble Squall's ear at the same time he began to stroke his lover's semi-hard erection.


"Boy or girl?" he murmured in his ear. "I'd love to go cradle shopping with you."


Squall moaned at the way Zell drawled out the word 'love' in the last sentence. It made absolutely no sense to him at the moment, and he didn't even want to try.


"Because you know, if we don't get a cradle for them, they might want to sleep with us. And you know, that might get in the way of, you know..."


He could almost see the wide cheshire grin on Zell's face even in the dark with his eyes closed. Squall gave up on pretending to be asleep and tried to reply to his question, only to gasp loudly when the strong hand suddenly quickened its strokes on his hardened flesh.


"Want to, you know, right now, hm?"


"Yes," croaked Squall, who was too flustered to resist.


"Want to have my child now?" crooned the martial artist who could pull words out of his mouth faster than he could land a high-kick.


"That's obscene," his lover replied immediately, his voice hoarse from panting.


"But you know you want to," the blonde chirped and pressed himself hard against Squall's backside.


"Maybe," Squall whispered, readjusting himself so that he could return the favour Zell had been giving him already.


"Booya! I liked the light blue moogle pattern we saw at Galbadia yesterday, can we get light blue moogles on the cradle?"



It was such a ridiculous topic, and yet, Squall Leonhart didn't mind hearing it from Zell Dincht at all.

FOREWORD: This is an ongoing fanfic. To start reading from the beginning, click here.
Series: Final Fantasy VIII (8)

Pairing: Zell Dincht & Squall Leonhart
Theme: 30 Kisses #6 - The space between dream and reality

Status: part 4 and ongoing
Rating: PG

Warnings: none
Search keyword: ff8_where_i_belong

Notes: Loads and loads of apologies for such a late update on this and a very unfulfilling one too. T_T It's short too, I'm sorry!!!

Morning creeped quietly into the bedroom from outside the window, and the sleeping chocobo stirred from within. His nose twitched unconsciously, and slowly, Zell aroused from his deep slumber. The last moments of sleep were comprised of a mass of dreams, mostly regarding his childhood in the orphanage. Ever since they all regained general knowledge of their past, Zell had been dreaming about those days every so often. Those days were filled with both confusion and joy: confusion because he didn't know what he did or what had happened that left him without parents, and yet joy because he wasn't alone.


However, the only dream that he could remember upon waking was the one where he wandered from his tiny bed over to Squall's because he was scared of the thunderstorm that plagued that night. Even back then, Squall was never very sociable, but then again neither was Zell, except when Matron coaxed him out. His dreams were as vivid as if he was reliving his past bit by bit, and Zell could clearly recall the scent of damp wood and the chills that shot up his spine every time the lightning flashed outside or the thunder roared. He hated having the bed nearest the window, and on nights like this, he wished he could fall asleep before the lightning and thunder could keep him awake. On quick little feet and wearing a loose, long nightshirt like everybody else, the short little blonde scuttled about the room looking for someone who wasn't fast asleep. In the corner of his eye, Zell caught some movement over in Squall's bed, and he quickly tiptoed over to his bedside, holding fast to the blanket in his arms that trailed a little behind him on the floor.


The teary blue-eyed boy tugged on the blanket draped across the other boy and whimpered when lightning filled the room after thunder sounded loudly a second before, and Squall peeked an eye open at what was bothering him.


"Are you awake..." Zell meeped in a tiny, quivering voice.


He heard a low sigh and then a sniffle, but Squall didn't say anything.


"I'm scared, are you?"


Squall shook his head and rubbed his eyes.


"Then why are you crying?" he whispered. He was always being called the crybaby, especially by Seifer, but never once had he seen Squall crying.


"I'm not crying," was the response, but nevertheless, Squall was still sniffling.


"It's okay to cry, Matron said so. Just don't cry in front of Seifer, he'll pick on you too."


The figure huddled under the blankets nodded and wiped his face a little with the soft fabric. The thunder outside roared again, and Zell whimpered loudly, burying his face into the bundled cloth in his arms. He felt a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him into the side of the bed, and despite that it wasn't Matron's hand comforting him, he felt slightly better.


"Get in," Squall's quiet voice ushered, and Zell nodded timidly and crawled onto the bed. Squall pulled Zell under his blanket and unraveled Zell's blanket so that they had two blankets over them instead of one. Without the blanket in his arms, Zell instinctively wrapped his small arms around Squall and pressed his forehead against the other boy's. When the lightning flashed again, Zell shivered and hugged Squall tightly. The brunette pulled the blankets over their heads and silently cradled the shivering boy in his arms, who was slightly smaller sized than him.


Zell looked into Squall's face, and, although it was dark, he could faintly see that his eyes were red. He reached out and rubbed away the shining moisture on the side of his eyes, which elicited a small smile from Squall. Wrapped in each other's warmth and foreheads pressed together, the two boys drifted off to sleep, and before little Zell passed into his dreams beyond dreams, he heard Squall whisper, "Sis..." in his sleep.


It seemed odd to Zell that he woke up to the present time when he fell asleep in his dream as his younger self. Even though it was a buried memory from so long ago, he could still smell the soap on the laundry sheets and Squall's scent. Ironically, he still smelled the same, except with the additional smell of leather that he wore all the time. The boy yawned loudly and stretched, rolling onto his other side so that he was facing the door now. Suddenly he realized that the pillowcase he had been sleeping on smelled faintly like Squall. Puzzled, he pulled it from under his head for examination. He chuckled to himself at the thought that Squall inherited his body odor from his father, as weird and nasty as that might be.



After lazing about in bed for a few more minutes, the blonde sat up and put down the pillow next to him before stretching widely. Like the many other nights he had flashback dreams like the ones he just had, he made it a duty to put them out of his mind as soon as he got off the bed. Zell bobbed his head up and down a few times to shake off what sleepiness was left and ruffled his disheveled hair from not showering the night before, he bounced up onto his heels and shadowboxed for a good ten minutes before heading out for his morning workout alone. Or so he hoped Squall would still be asleep.

Series: Final Fantasy VIII (8)
Pairing: Zell Dincht & Squall Leonhart

Theme: 30 Kisses #4 - Our Distance and that Person
Status: one-shot, finished

Rating: G
Warnings: none

Notes: This takes place after Squall gets Rinoa back from space on disc 3, I believe it was. Written based on a little gameplay. Hope what's happening is clear.

What’s wrong with him? I went and got Rinoa back from space, and now I know for sure that she’s interested in me. It doesn’t mean that I reciprocate her feelings though. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought when I had to let her go; she had insisted on being taken away now that she’s a sorceress. Everyone is convinced that we were meant to be together, and I can’t believe that even Zell thinks so. Why him too? He, along with everybody else, urged me to not give up on her and to go after her again. He looks hurt - he was never good at hiding his feelings - so after everyone splits up, I tried to talk to him.


But he won’t talk to me. He won’t respond, he doesn’t even seem to be listening. Now, of all times, why can’t he see that I want him and not Rinoa? How did she ever come between us, changing our roles so drastically? Back when I used to not speak very much, he always talked to me normally although I never knew what to say and even kiss up to me when he knew I was upset. So why am I the one talking now, and he the one who refuses to say a word?



I wish I had never met her, but now I have to go to her.