Series: Tenjou Tenge
Pairings: Natsume Shin x Natsume Maya
Status: one-shot, complete
Rating: PG-18 (mature?)
Warnings: het (straight) sex, incest, semi-nonconsensual
Notes: My favourite pairing in TenTen, but the fic line spun beyond my control... To sum it all up with one sentence: The siblings have angsty sex. The end isn't very good, because I suck at writing endings, but hope this fic isn't too terribly written. ^_^;;
The rain outside poured like kami was pushing over buckets up in the heavens. Laying on his side, half covered by his bedsheets, Shin stared out the window, trying to focus on each drop of falling rain, but it was useless. The drops came down in torrents, and it was impossible to mark where each drop was heading - sideways from the wind, pushed further away from its current position by the other drops of rain, or pulled down by a mass of drops falling straight towards the earth. He hated rainy days, and yet, those showers always happened when his mood went afoul. It was his fault afterall; it was his punishment. Trying to map out where each droplet would land was an endless torment on these nights, but still he tried. These were sleepless nights. He felt so cold, so exposed to the harsh immense world all around him. Even the heater in the house couldn't make him feel warmer, no blanket or pillow could comfort him, yet he still tried. There would be no use in living if he didn't struggle to survive, to protect what was most precious to him.
A tall stream of light fell on the glass window in his dark room, and a small wooden creak contrasted the wet noises of the raging storm. Shin focused his vision on the reflection of the light instead of concentrating on the rain outside. He saw a glimpse of his own reflection, and although it was so far away, the opening and closing of the reflection's eyes were so crystal clear.
"Aniue... are you asleep?" said a small voice, so quiet that if he didn't want to hear it, the rain would have drowned it easily. The pure voice of his little sister - not the youngest, but his dearest - called to him in the darkest of nights.
He turned over on his back and pretended to blink sleepily at the tall figure peeking through the small opening in his doorway. "Not anymore," he replied with a sleepy smile. "What's the matter, storm keeping you up, Maya?"
The hallway light flooded the room for a moment as she stepped inside, then she shut the door quietly behind her. Even with the door closed, her long sweeping hair seemed to illuminate the room, its lavender-tinted strands of platinum catching every bit of moonlight that seeped into the darkness of Shin's room. She wore a white thigh-long nightgown with a low neckline that would be loose if it didn't cling to her full bosom and hips, and yet, the full grown woman tiptoed over to his bedside like a little girl. Maya peered down at her brother's face, and he blinked up at hers.
"I'm not a child anymore, I can sleep through anything, Aniue. I came to see if you could sleep," she said, her bright blue eyes narrowed suspiciously.
He let out a soft laugh, gazing at her face, framed like an artist's portrait by the silky strands of her hair. "Don't worry about me, you silly; of course I can sleep. Now go back to bed," he said tiredly while grinning at his adorable little sister.
She stood up straight and placed her hands on her hips, suspicion still written across her face. "Liar. I know you can't sleep when it's raining, especially when it's like this." Her gaze left him for a moment and rested on the window, as if she started getting lost in the storm herself. Without a conscious thought, Shin sat up and grabbed her by the wrist towards him. The last thing he wanted in this world was for Maya to get sucked into watching destiny like him, and as long as he was alive, he would not allow her to be drowned by the same weight of fate. Her body collapsed into his grip, and she wound up sitting on the bed with her head pressed into her brother's shoulder. "Ah..." she gasped, suddenly losing her train of thought, then pulled herself upright and away from her brother's form. "Aniue, what are you doing," she stated as a matter of fact rather than posing it as a question.
Thoughts formulated in his mind, but he dared not say anything. He knew she would understand his silence.
"So my Aniue wants me to keep him company for once," Maya said through a snicker. "I'll stay until you fall asleep then." She wriggled her wrist free from his softened grip and ushered Shin onto his back. "You're going to catch a cold if you never cover up," she scolded quietly and pulled the covers over his shoulder, tucking him in. His appearance mirrored her own, except for a few harsher lines here and there that scripted his cheekbones and jawline. She felt a little silly, as if she was tucking herself into bed. Shin was her brother, the one who took care of her after their parents died, the one she knew would love her forever and ever, and yet, every time she looked into his eyes, she felt something different. Ever since it started feeling like that, she would look away and find a way to prove herself wrong, that she didn't feel any different about her brother as she used to as a child. It was so hard, because she felt so heavy when she didn't pull away but felt even worse when she did. Yet still, it was the only thing in this world she would never give up - because he was her precious Aniue.
It took a while before Shin shut his eyes and tried to sleep. Maya held onto his right hand on her lap and gently stroked it once in a while. His sleeping face was so peacful, and so unlike the utterly nonserious or completely too serious expression he wore during the day at school. It pained her to see her brother force himself to wear such a drastic mask each day, but it also angered her because she knew that he did it for her sake. No matter what she said or did, he would never listen. He bore the burden of their relationship solely on himself and would not let her so much as to lift a finger. She was so afraid that he would drown in the darkness without her and not even let her know if it ever happened. Ever since that day he let her glimpse into the horrors of his world, she became more afraid, not because her brother became a monster, but because she was scared that she would not be able to save him. The thought of losing Shin to his darkness and not being able to be with him was the most terrifying thing in the world. Not even her infatuation with Mitsuomi could outweigh the bond she had with her brother, and if he were to ever leave her, she would have to drown alone.
He murmured something incomprehensible in his sleep and shifted slightly, but his hand remained unmoved in hers.
Everything she did during the day to prove to him and everyone else that she could stand on her own only reinforced how much she wished to be by his side. But she knew, that if he stayed with her, she would inevitably burn him. It was an analogy that she never understood in her youth, and didn't understand until recently. Shin had told her that he was a moth, lost in the darkness, and she was his light and his flame, burning so brightly that he couldn't help but be drawn to her. Because the world cannot exist without opposites, the darkness that the moth belonged to needed light to exist. But because the flame was so strong, the darkness was equally so, and it gave the moth the more reason to love the flame, although it would burn him to his death. Maya had argued when she was little, that she didn't want to be the fire that burned her brother and wished to be a butterfly instead. Shin had smiled sadly at her, and she had not understood why. But as time passed, the path revealed itself to her, and there was no way to escape the fates that they were given. There were many paths to their destiny, like the rain storms that her brother would watch, but in the end, each drop found its inevitable destination. Such was their fates, his and hers, but she didn't want to be separated from him. If she were to burn and destroy her brother, she would be left all alone. Without the moth, there would be no more darkness, and without the darkness, the light would fade from existence. This was what she was afraid to tell anyone, especially Shin. If he would continue to try and live a life of slaughtering countless others, the darkness would dim the light that her brother loved so much. It was only a matter of time to see which would go out first. The light or the darkness. If extinguishing her light would allow her brother to live, she would gladly do it, but then he would lose all the goodness in him. In opposition, if oblitering the darkness would mean allowing fate to take its course and burn her brother's life, then she would continue to exist, whether or not the light in her would still be there. Shin gladly took the latter route, taking it into his own hands to ensure that his flame would never go out, but he walked this path alone, pushing Maya away so his darkness wouldn't taint her light.
Half an hour passed with Maya contemplating silently and watching her sleeping brother. She shivered in her light nightgown, and she decided to head back to her room now that he was asleep. Carefully detaching her hand from his and resting his hand on the bed, she slipped off the edge of the bed and turned towards the door. Unexpectantly, a strong hand darted from under the covers and grabbed her arm, pulling her directly on top of him.
"Maya, it's so dark, I can't see anything!" the desperate voice shouted and alarmed the girl. His other hand gripped her long hair almost painfully, and Maya looked up to see Shin's eyes wide open and staring blankly at the ceiling, his mouth contorted in horror.
"Shh, Aniue, I'm still here. Shh, don't wake Aya," she grimaced from having her hair pulled. Reaching her free hand up to his face, she soothed the side of her brother's face. "I'm here, it's okay," she exhaled, her heart aching from seeing his inner pain scripted across his face.
He murmured "don't leave me..." repeatedly until his heavy breathing returned to normal, and his grip on Maya finally loosened into an embrace. "...... Maya...?" he whispered after a moment.
"Yes it's Maya, it's me. You were having a nightmare," she spoke gently and snuggled into his neck, assuring him of her presence. It was warmer than when she was sitting on the side of his bed although it was an awkward position, being on top of her brother, but he wouldn't let go.
"Don't leave me..." he repeated again, and hugged her tighter.
"Aniue, I can't breathe..."
"Don't leave me..." he chanted again, as if under a spell.
Maya twisted her head for air and then sighed loudly. "Okay okay, I won't leave," she said softly and tried to push away to sit up, but he refused to budge. "I'll sit by your side until morning. It'll be okay, I promise," she reassured him, but he remained silent. Peeking upwards, she could tell that he no longer looked terrified, but his eyes stared at her as if he had not seen her in ages. She began to feel something welling inside her throat, but when she tried to look away, she only found herself falling deeper. She tried to form words, but all that came out was a breathy "Ani..ue..."
"Maya..." was all that she heard before his lips pressed against hers, and a knot inside her heart tightened. She did not consciously expect this, and yet, she did expect it somehow. She thought she would fight back, but she didn't. Instead, his kisses melted into hers, and warm tears trickled down their faces.
She spoke up first, when their lips unlocked for the first time, stammering "na... nani..." until he pushed her head down into another kiss, this time their tongues exploring each other's mouths. He tasted like the strong green tea they had after dinner, and she like minty toothpaste. Maya felt weird, like she shouldn't be doing this, and yet, she desired it too. They weren't the childish kisses they shared every now and then.
His strong arms snaked out from under the blanket and circled Maya, one hand massaging the back of her head and the other feeling its way down her back, then slipping under her nightgown. She wriggled when his hand found her panties and squeezed one of her firm buttocks, and she moan into their kiss. He hoisted her body higher with his lower hand, which then started to peel her nightgown upwards so that her back was exposed to the cool air of the room. When she began to resist, Shin rolled her over so that she was trapped underneath his muscled body, never breaking their kiss. He hungered for it, and his tongue darted eagerly around hers, as if he was searching for something hidden in her mouth. Maya squirmed to break free, but his legs pinned her down firmly as his hands pulled her entire nightgown up past her breasts, which would be pressed against his bare chest if it weren't for the thin bedsheet that separated their bodies. Shin took care of that quickly too and yanked it out from between them in one swift tug. Crystal blue eyes flared open when she felt her brother's naked flesh pressed heavily on hers, but the most alarming thing was the heat that she felt pressed against her thigh. This time, she struggled hard enough to break away from his kiss, but when she tried to yell at him for doing inappropriate things, her eyes melted into his gaze, which she could still see in the darkness. It was a bit intimidating, because he wasn't wearing his eyepatch and his predatorial eyes were slightly mismatched when they were so close, and despite being trapped under his hot body, she felt a cold shiver down her spine.
"We... shouldn't be doing this, Aniue..." her voice drifted off timidly, as if she was afraid of being devoured by the monster lying on top of her.
"Maya..." The voice that she heard was surprisingly calm and composed, and it was the voice of the brother she knew well and loved. It was almost pitch black in the room if it weren't for the dull moonlight that poured in the window, filtered by the rain storm, yet she had gotten used to the darkness of the room. She could see the outline of her brother's face, so well that if she reached out, she could trace all his worry lines with her fingers and smooth them away. "I need you to understand, that after these few days, I will have to go." He pressed his hand pressed against her cheek, trying to calm the quivering blue of her eyes. Indeed, especially in these few nights past, he could feel that his destiny was almost here. Her eyes gazed past his own, seeing straight into his soul, and he allowed her to see the little boy inside, the lost and confused child who wanted and needed to be found. "I don't want to be alone," he begged, and her gaze remained fixed on him even when he squeezed his eyes shut. Tears splattered down on her smooth complexion, wet with her own tears from before, and she pulled a hand free from under his elbow and smoothed back the messy strands of hair matting his forehead.
"I know," she said, eyes searching his scrunched up face, and she pulled his head down into the nape of her neck, stroking the back of his head like a mother with her child. "I'll be with you as always," she whispered into his ear and pressed her cheek against his head. His arms found comfort holding onto her shoulders as he shook into her body with stifled sobs, and she embraced him with her own strength. "I love you, Aniue, and there's nothing in this world that would separate us. Not this stupid fate you speak of, nothing."
He trembled in her arms, and she instinctively pulled the blanket he cast aside over his back, covering the both of them. She rocked him a little, closing her eyes and waiting for her brother to calm. He was like a child sometimes, needing her comfort and reassurance, even though during the day he took the role of her protector. She hated how he made her look weak in public, but nowhere in her heart could she find any resentment towards Shin because of how he was. He might be her older brother, but he was also something more. He was her most cherished person in the whole wide world - he was the one person in the world she loved.
She wanted to hold onto all the happy memories they shared, and she thought about all the antics he pulled as a child and even now. She cradled the larger man in her arms and muttered in his ear. "You know, Aniue, you could at least wear some underwear to bed even if you can't sleep," she mused.
He lifted his head from her neck after he stopped crying. "Maya, you say you love me, but it's not the same way I feel."
She frowned at him, not knowing whether to feel confused or torn that he would say something like that. "I don't care if you don't love me, but you're still my brother."
"No no, Maya, I do love you, I love you more than you know, but it's not the same way you feel about me. To you, I'll always be your brother, but to me..." his sentence drifted to a pause and he looked away painstakenly. "I'll always love you more than a sister. You're my everything," he said, burying his face into the pillow she laid on, his cheek nuzzled against the side of her face.
"Baka," she said as her own tears began to flow. "I love you just the same. It's always been that way, Aniue. How can you say that I don't feel the same?" She squeezed him tightly, and it was her turn to cry. She had yearned to hear those words from Shin all her life, and yet, she was also saddened that he didn't know how she felt as well. "I promised I would be strong so that you didn't have to be all the time. Why, tell me why, do you keep it all to yourself? You won't let me in, why won't you share it with me? How can I stay with you if you keep pushing me away?"
"I'm sorry, Maya, that I can't make you happy, but don't cry. I would do anything to stop those tears," he spoke gently and cupped her face in his hands. Outside the rain poured loudly, but the siblings were deaf to the world except to each other. Shin studied her intently, and he bent down to kiss one of her closed eyes, and then the other, before kissing her lips. She willingly opened her mouth to him, and they tasted the remants of their salty tears mingled with the flavors on their tongues. They remained that way until Shin tugged her nightgown, that was bunched up about her shoulders, up and over her head, breaking their kiss only for that moment. Her raised arms found its way under the covers and encircled his back, and his hands slid down her sides, resting on her voluptuous hips. With one hand, he then moved its way up to cup one of her full breasts while the other assisted his knees in spreading her legs apart. His thumb found her nipple, hardened against his touch as he gently massaged her breast, squeezing occasionally, and his other hand rubbed her crotch through her underwear in small circular motions. The remaining piece of fabric she wore was warm and silky, and the minimal friction caused by his probing fingers gave Maya tingles inside. His fingers found a sensitive spot and honed in on circling it until she moaned heavily into their kisses.
"No, Aniue, don't," she whimpered when Shin's kisses trailed down her neckline. She almost seemed like a trapped maiden under her brother's impossible strength, but she was also there willingly. Her writhing motions egged him on instead of resisted, and her senses ran amok. She tensed noticeably when he peeled off her panties, slowly at first, then almost yanked them away from her legs completely. The cool rush of air was replaced with the heat of his moist breath, and she clamped a hand over her face to suppress making too much noise that might wake Aya two doors down. The sight of her brother, who looked so similar to herself, between her legs was weird yet comforting. The pleasure peaked until the point when it was almost unbearable, and she grasped the top of his head with both hands until he licked her to the point of breaking.
The pain her beloved brother held onto could be eased with the love she gave him, so why not give him all of it? With each breath she exhaled, Shin inhaled. What she gave, he took hungrily, and what he gave, she accepted lovingly. It felt almost natural when he entered her, not that he did so gently either. It hurt inside, but the pain was still very extraneous in comparison to what they both held onto in their hearts. Shin grunted, and with each thrust, she whimpered louder and louder until her brother's name was only word that constantly escaped her lips.
"Maya..." he repeated over and over huskily, leaning down to suckle her breasts as a child would, but continuously plunged in and out of her. She grabbed his head and held him tightly to her chest until she tensed uncontrollably, as did he. She spasmed around his member and crossed her ankles behind his back, pulling him deep into herself, and let out what sounded like a cross between crying and a scream. He groaned into her chest, and for a little under a minute, neither of them moved an inch. Their loud pants softened, and they rolled onto their sides without leaving each other's embrace. Shin remained buried deep inside her, and Maya didn't seem to mind. When she shivered against the coldness that settled in, he pulled his blanket up to cover her shoulders.
"Aniue," she whispered softly against the quiet of the night, as the raging storm outside had cleared up and all was calm again. "The storm's over. You can sleep now."
"I will if you stay here beside me," he murmured, nuzzled between her breasts.
She stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head, holding him close. "Of course I will. Good night."
---
Yet, with fate turning against them and the root of their existences set in stone, he would always be her light, and she the moth, because it was him that continued to pull her in and burn her soul bit by bit. There was no other way she would rather have it, though, because he burned so brightly that she could only follow him wherever he went. Even in death, she would be with him.