Series: Final Fantasy VIII (8)
Pairing: talk of Zell Dincht & Squall Leonhart
Status: one-shot, finished
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Notes: One shot in Zell's point of view. A stream of conscious narration of the actual FF8 game, with lots of insight into Zell's character. If you don't agree with me as to what goes through Zell's head in the game, whatever. It's just what I saw. ^_^ Enjoy!
I always figured it would end this way.
It started when I was assigned in the same team as Squall, under Seifer's command. No wait, it was even earlier. Ever since I could remember at Balamb, Squall was always the one I wanted. But then again, so did every other girl and gay guy in the Garden. Well, I'm bi but like that makes any difference. I wanted Squall as much as everybody else. Then, by chance, I ended up on the same team as him that fateful exam day. The day we met, Squall was so cold to me, and I found out why he was still single although so many people in Balamb liked him. When Squall fell in front of that dreadful hunk of machinery, XATM-02###, I gestured to him wildly to hurry up. I mean, it was Squall afterall right? He could handle himself. I guess I was one of the first to ever see him fall and in need of someone else to cover him. Thank hyne Quistis was operating the machine gun atop the ship or Squall would have been a goner. I could have jumped out and saved him, but, I didn't. Squall finally toppled into the ship, depleted of energy and health, and there was nothing else I could do but heal him. Then something curious happened. As the green light of my curative magic descended onto his body in front of me, I saw him curl towards me and SMILE. Holy shit. I didn't know whether that was cute or just plain SCARY. Has anybody ever seen this guy smile? Like whoa, he smiled. He was unconscious but still. Then he woke up and he resumed his usual self. He said thanks but I wasn't even sure if he meant it. "No problem, baby." I replied, then I got that cold front from him all over again.
There was something about him that drew me more to him after that incident. After we were appointed as official SeeDs, Squall disappeared off somewhere, so I stuck around and heard all the announcements. Someone had to relay him the information, right? Cid told me where our new rooms were, and maybe I was lucky again, because he told me that Squall's room was right across from mine! All our belongings were transferred, he said, so tell Squall not to panic over his disappearing stuff. Haha, panic, I didn't think that guy could panic. I searched everywhere for him, and I didn't find him until after the celebration. He didn't seem to care at all, not even a thank you this time. Jeez. Whatever, as he would say. I wonder why he's so seclusive? I mean, I talk all the time, maybe too much sometimes and I always get into fights with that jerk Seifer, but so did Squall. Well, in the opposite way, by not talking that is. It's all that Seifer's fault. He's such a jerk to both of us, which is why I don't understand why Squall won't talk to me. We'd get along, don't you think?
So I was thinking back on the beginning. Wait, that wasn't even the beginning. We actually got along back when we were kids at Matron's orphanage. I can hardly remember any of it, if Irvine didn't tell us about it I probably would have never remembered. But now I do remember some things, like how I cried a lot when I was a kid and didn't talk quite as much. Squall used to comfort me too, because I would cry in a corner a lot after being bullied. He got bullied too, but because he knew how I felt, he would come over and sit with me until I stopped crying. He even once told me that I had cool hair. He said he wanted to touch it, see how it stood up the way it did, and I let him run his fingers through my hair. It always made me feel funny and happy, because Matron does the same thing to me when I ask her for impossible things. I liked it.
It actually began back then. But apparently, we changed drastically when we lost our memories and ended up at Balamb. Of course, I was the only one lucky enough to be adopted by Ma. She told me she only had enough funds to support one of us, so she didn't adopt Squall as well. I really wanted Squall to come with me back then, but I don't remember any of this. I just know I was attracted to that guy since the beginning.
And now more than ever.
But you know, after all of our missions together, we met Rinoa from Timber. Rinoa Heartilly. She was obsessed with Squall like all the other girls sure, but perhaps more annoying. I don't think I've ever met such a whiny, talkative girl. Hey, no offense, I talk just as much, Selphie too, but Rinoa was always very whiny about her requests. Demands. That's it. She demands a lot of things Squall, and surprisingly, Squall doesn't refuse. I don't know what's up with that. Maybe Squall's always this serious on the job. On the up side, since Rinoa showed up, he's been talking to me a lot more, almost as if he wanted to talk to me like back at the orphanage. So I took Rinoa's presence as a good thing. We got along fine too, but boy did she have some nerve, asked me to make her a duplicate of Squall's ring. I wanted one for myself, but I never thought about it until she asked me. "Sure thing," I said, because I wanted one too. I was so happy when Squall handed over his ring to me without much questioning, guess he trusted me after all!
Then after I made that duplicate, I let Rinoa hold onto both the original and the duplicate for me. How did I know they were going to send her into space before I could get them back? I volunteered to stay with Matron, because she's important to us. To our past, and my memories of how we were. And Squall went into space to save Rinoa. Did I mention that, since she fainted from our battle with Ultimecia possessing Matron's body, Squall's been acting up about Rinoa? Seems like she really got to him. Suddenly he's always concerned about finding a way to bring her back, making sure nobody harms her body while she's unconscious, something or another. When we were alone, he would constantly tell me about how worried he was, and that he was afraid she was gone for good. I assured him she would be fine and we'd find some way to bring her back, and he seemed somewhat convinced, but always looked at me with such sad puppy eyes, eyes that I remember vaguely from our past. The same reason why I chose to protect Matron while he and Irvine goes out into space.
The time he was gone, I began to realize just how much his presence meant to me. I was going insane without him there. He never talked that much but, that wasn't the important thing. He wasn't there, and I was going out of my mind! Call me masochistic, but I almost liked the way he would brush me off when I rambled on and on, yet he never really left at the same time. The girls here are so different, especially Matron. I was so glad she's here with me, and she filled me in so many details of our childhood. She also told me about Squall's father, Laguna, you know, the guy we keep having dreams about. But she made me promise I wouldn't tell Squall until Laguna felt that it was the right time to tell him himself. Both Matron and Quistis were older female figures to me, who cared and were concerned for the rest of us. Selphie was off on her own worrying her pretty little head about Irvine in space. And well I, I was worrying my head off about Squall.
All that worrying was for naught though, Squall returned safe and sound, and boy was I glad! But he didn't look so happy, and I noticed Rinoa wasn't with him. What happened? We all wanted to know, and he told us Rinoa became a sorceress and decided on her own that she was going to be contained so her body can't be used by Ultimecia again. What the heck was this girl thinking?! Squall goes out into space and worries everyone else in the process, rescues her, then she comes back and decides to leave him and make him miserable? By hyne, I didn't want to see Squall like this! I put my feelings aside for the moment and encouraged Squall, along with everybody else, to go and get Rinoa back. He deserves her, right? And well I, my feelings don't mean anything to him. No use in letting my own feelings get in the way of Squall and Rinoa being together. Wait a minute, my feelings? What feelings? Since when did being attracted to him develop into feelings?
He rescues her. Again. And we're all relieved. Or so I want to convince myself that I am. No, I'm not really. I'm just trying really hard. I'm talking less even, Quistis was worried one day and asked me what's up. "Nothing, Quisty, really nothing." She didn't try to push me, and I'm thankful. She probably already knows, but there's nothing anyone can do about it.
After a lot of things happened, and I mean a LOT, Squall and Rinoa are now an official couple. And Squall smiles a lot more nowadays. It's creepy man, it really is. I was the first to ever see him smile though, and inside, it's the one thing I have to hold onto. And our childhood memories. I'm the only one that remembers now.
I always knew it was going to turn out this way.